I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
