you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
