i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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