Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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