fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
