i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
