did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
