Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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