at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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