Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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