There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
