i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I will pee on everything he values.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
