Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize