Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
