I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
