Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
