He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
