You're so nebulous sometimes
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
