arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize