I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
