I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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