There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize
