Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Randomize
