scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
