it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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