K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize