Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
