The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
