im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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