The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
last night I used snow as a chaser
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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