It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
