On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
