sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
