which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize