well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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