new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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