I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
he puts the penis in happiness.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
