yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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