matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
