Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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