Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize