Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
