Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
