I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
