exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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