Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize