yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
