Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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