Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize