If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
