You work out of a Hotel?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
