You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
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