he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
