found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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