You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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