just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
