I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
