Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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