onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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