I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
