there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
