I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
