If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
