I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My vagina just clenched in fear
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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