Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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