Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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