you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
