OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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