Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
