Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
