We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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