She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
