I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
