hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
