it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
